Wedding Etiquette: Our Top 8 Social Media Do's and Don'ts
By Raashka Mannie

24 June 2019

In this age of social media, navigating wedding etiquette can become all the more complicated. There are a series of new avenues that have opened up as technology has progressed, so knowing what to do can throw anyone for a loop. Whether it's hashtagging, liking or adding to your story, we have a list of our very own social media do's and don'ts to help you figure it out.

Image by Green Wedding Shoes

Don't use social media for...


1/ Wedding & Engagement Invites

Emailing wedding invitations to even your closet friends or relatives is generally not appropriate. Since the wedding invite sets the tone for the ceremony and reception to come, you don’t want to create the wrong impression by skipping beautiful, physical invites. Pinned on refrigerators and tucked on the mantelpiece, invites also act as reminders and help build anticipation for the big day. For many guests, like your grandparents, they are precious keepsakes. The only exception is in the case of extremely rushed circumstances – if, for instance, you and your fiancé are suddenly moving and you decide to get married at the last minute. In that case, feel free to hit that 'send' button.

Creating a Facebook event for your wedding is also not the best idea. Although you may not intend to make people feel unimportant, Facebook invites are extremely impersonal and can imply that you don't really care if those people come or not. The same advice goes for engagement party invites – think carefully about the tone you want to set for your engagement party. If it’s just a casual affair, such as a drop-in afternoon tea, it may be acceptable to email an invite, but otherwise you should make the effort to post a proper invitation.

2/ Asking for help

Friends and family are often very happy and willing to do things for you to help create your dream wedding. It's become increasingly common to ask for help and have conversations over text and via messages online, which can be a a simple and fast way to ask for any assistance you may need, but this makes things impersonal and rushed. Instead, you can make requests in person and over the phone, which add a lovely, warm touch and make expressing appreciation all the easier. Chances are, they'll be delighted in helping to plan your day – and, besides treating them to a thoughtful gift or a nice lunch, you can tag them in a heartwarming post or two online to show that extra spoonful of love.

Image by Après Group

3/ Sorting out difficult issues

With the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding, conflict can rear its unwanted head. It’s easy for communication over text, Facebook or email to be misinterpreted, which can make sorting out compromises or resolving emotional clashes challenging to say the least. Without being able to hear other people’s tone of voice or read their body language, it can become difficult to interpret or smooth over differences in opinion. Communicating over social media is also a lot less personal than direct conversation. So if a tricky issue comes up, pick up the phone and call to talk it over, or arrange to meet face-to-face with those involved. You will get back on the right track so much faster and avoid a communication disaster by making just that little bit of extra effort.

4/ Thank you notes

We really can’t stress this one enough. For each and every engagement or wedding gift you receive, always send a handwritten note or card to the giver. This is also true for thanking the people who were involved in helping with your wedding. No exceptions! Unless you’ve been shipwrecked on a desert island, you really have no excuse not to be polite and thank people properly.

If you’ve fallen behind on your note writing, or know you can’t write a card straight away, you can send an email or private message on Facebook to let the gift giver know that you’ve received their gift, that you love it, and you’ll be sending a formal thank you very soon. But remember: a quick message doesn’t replace a physical thank you note.

Image by Forbes

Do use social media for...


1/ “Save the Date” notices

Once you’ve decided on your wedding date, many couples send out an early, informal note to alert friends and family to save the date. This is especially a good idea if you have lots of family coming from overseas and they need to book flights and accommodation. It’s perfectly fine to email this note or even create a Facebook invite – but keep in mind that you may readjust your guest list during the planning process and, if you’ve sent a ‘save the date’ to someone, you need to follow up with a physical invite.

2/ Wedding RSVPs

On your wedding invites, it’s acceptable to give your guests the option of emailing their RSVPs to you. Simply add a line to the bottom of your printed response card or the invite with the email address you are using to collect RSVPs. This method of collecting responses is especially appropriate if you have a short turnaround time, if you’re planning a relatively informal wedding, or if you know the majority of your wedding guests use email.

Image by Wedivite

3/ Bridal Showers, Hen’s Parties & Informal Celebrations

While more informal, these occasions are still important, and most couples and families will want to honour this fact by sending printed invitations. However, emailed invitations or e-invitations are an acceptable alternative, particularly if everyone you’re inviting is computer-literate. However, this may not be the time to create a Facebook event – it’s still nice and thoughtful to send an invitation to each intended recipient.

4/ Extra Information on destinations & lodging

Oftentimes, there is a lot of extra information your guests need to know about your wedding, such as directions to the venues, maps, accommodation and restaurant suggestions, and even points of local interest for overseas guests. To avoid detracting from the aesthetic beauty of your wedding invites, it’s useful to send out a group email, or even create your own wedding website, to communicate this additional info. Your guests will be grateful they don’t have to try and find out everything on their own.

Edited from an original article by Lydia Martin